If you give a man a fish – What is a womans plaice?

In my experience, if I taught this man to fish, several things would happen :

  1. He would be much better at catching fish than me.
  2. He would gloat to me about how good he was at catching fish.
  3. He would diss my fish catching abilities to others, making me a laughing stock. I would have to move house.
  4. He would probably win some sort of fishing award.
  5. He would deplete the fish stocks.
  6. When he ran out of fish he would ask me what I’m eating these days.
  7. The cycle would repeat.

Defeating the saying.

The only way to win and defeat the saying, I decided, was to only give women fish. So I decided, on a whim, to devote the rest of my life to doing just that.

I split it into 2 categories – woman I know and woman I don’t.

I figure my budget would stretch to five fish a week.

Woman I know –

1. Wife.

Fish given. “You know I don’t like fish. What’s wrong with you?”

Result : Inconclusive. Wait 2 days and try more fish.

2. More Women

I had the addresses of the other 4 women I knew, so I posted the fish.

Result  : Unclear.  I forgot to include my return address with the fish. I have left fishy messages but they haven’t returned my calls. They may be overwhelmed with surprise fish. I suspect there may be other random fish experimentation occurring.

I decided to save some time as I knew the real difficulty ahead was targeting women I didn’t know with the fish.

3. The women I didn’t know.

Result :  Inconclusive. I tried four main methods :

Throwing the fish – I learnt being hit in the face by a fish does not constitute fish acceptance.

Leaving the fish on doorsteps.  – I didn’t wait until they opened the door. I’m a busy man.

Knocking on doors confirming fish surprise in person. – Clearest results yet. My rule is that a door slammed in the face 8 times is clear fish rejection. The door clock resets each day, however.

The shopping mall. – Strangely everyone accepted the fish immediately. Then I noticed they immediately passed on the fish to other people. STEALING MY IDEA.

The Obstacle is the path

Many get the idea of giving up an idea as soon as they realise there are difficulties, I always try to reframe it.

The difficulties show you the direction you should take. The obstacles are merely pointers showing you the way towards improvement.

I suspect, over all the ideas I’ve had in my life this is still one of the best. Do you think Thomas Edison gave up after giving away 6 fish. I don’t think so.

Not every genius is recognised in their time. Remember that.

What are your best ideas for giving women fish? Don’t waste my time with nonsense, though.

9 thoughts on “If you give a man a fish – What is a womans plaice?

  1. Have the waiter bring it to her, nicely sautéed in white wine and butter. Works every time. Well, unless the woman is my wife. She doesn’t like fish. OK, so it only worked one in my life, on a houseguest, I still think it’s a good start.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have all the fish I need but I wouldn’t turn away some nice fish and chips.
    Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they have their own scales.
    What kind of fish only comes out at night? A starfish.
    Where do fish go to borrow money? A loan-shark.

    Liked by 1 person

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