Do you have a CB?

This is a picture of something

New Questions

Everyone stood still at school until one thing happened.

A new question arrived.

Suddenly the playground came alive with excitement,but what was the question?

‘Do you have a CB?’

CB radio,Citizens band radio, was popular among adults and some children when I grew up,in the golden days before the internet. Allowing weirdos to communicate more locally,instead of globally like they do now.

So 3 children ran up to me.

This can mean one of two things :

1. You say ‘ho ho ho’ because you’re Santa Claus.

2. You get very suspicious.

Do you have a CB?

I didnt so I said no.

Ha,ha, they all laughed. CB is a clean bum.

You dont have a clean bum. Ha ha.

You are assuming this is an ass

Back then aged 9, one of the most important things was to be the master of a clean bum. Ironically,in this Brave new world,only one person has one. The guy who bought all the toilet rolls.

This self mastery is one of the main foundation stones on the journey to adulthood.

I mean you cant go into work with it all up your back and not realise. It’s a life skill – master of the CB. You have to learn your basic numbers and control your number 1’s and 2’s.

After getting over the shame and humiliation of not knowing what a CB is, you then join the group, run over to the next child, and say it again. Now you’re in on the joke and its brilliant.

The fun lasts as long as the supply of children doesn’t run out.

(No Epstein or Prince Andrew jokes here.)

The playground stilled again. Suddenly the children ran upto me with the next question.

Are you a botter?

Tee hee,on to the next person.

This was more difficult as nobody knew what a botter was. We only knew it was someone who liked bots** and that you weren’t supposed to be one. So the joke was really upping the humiliation if someone said yes. They could be laughed at.

It’s quite funny thinking back,children picking up on their parents prejudices,without understanding them.

We weren’t quite racist or prejudiced yet,but we were doing our best.

Self Mastery

In trying times,when all our foundations are threatened, I am hopeful that my readers are still striving towards self mastery.

There is an irony here, in the midst of a pandemic. Choosing how and when we go may be taken from us.

Yet, choosing when we go is one way of keeping control of our lives.

It is with these small,often thunderous, acts we can find a sense of ease, satisfaction and control. When so much choice has been taken from us,in this new world, what is better than being regular?

So what if you don’t have a CB?

The unexpected benefit of having a 6 ft exclusion zone is that no-one will ever know.*

There is so much choice in life,even now.

What are you doing to manage your ‘moments’ wisely?


*subject to diet.

** There are not many bums or non-Russian bots in america but many asses.

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