In universal time, the death of Tim Willow is imminent.
Will a new star shine in the sky when he dies?
Will anyone see it?
Or will the world have drowned itself in a sea of tears?
You will find out soon enough.
A bit like Martin Luther King, I had a dream…
In the year 7510 – what became of humanity by then?
The earth has been re-named.
Willow World
On every corner, a statue of Tim Willow.
Every day, obeisance to the statue.
Honour to the man who saved the world, the man who started a new world – Tim Willow.
There is only one religion left in the world.
The blonkers.
Some say in hushed tones he was not a God but just a man. What a man!
His inconsequential life and unnoticeable death had a strange effect on the world.
Like a worthless Van Gogh featuring potatoes, or something that is probably a bit rubbish.
Willow’s gone Nuclear
The people who didn’t die in the Nuclear war in 2020 got to thinking about what Tim Willow had written.
They realised they had almost smiled at one or two of his bi-weekly posts.
They realised one thing.
That memory of reading of Tim Willow was the last scintilla of joy left in the world.
It had to be shared, it had to be made known – it had to be spread like a virus.
That’s how Willow’s World began.
Different This Time
After the holocaust the world organised itself around the slightly surreal,slightly strange posts of Tim Willow.
Remember that time he started the anecdote provision service?
Or the way he outed sausage factories hatred of bloggers?
Human society judged people not by their net worth or color of their skin but whether something was funny or not.
Like most new ideologies the early years are strife-riven.
Different factions formed, in a post-ironical way.
Some preparing to fight and die over Heavens got email.
Others supporting the more satirical,slightly darker posts about the Devil buying souls.
Some people say it didn’t make sense, other people just made sausages.
Those early days of strife were resolved, as people could go back to the original holy
texts within the Rebel Fish on WordPress.
Remember Every thought is an angel.
Or the first prophet of Willow World – Harry
Eternal peace for mankind from reading the rebelfish.
If only he wasn’t so lazy, what could he have accomplished?
The Eternal Blonker
Many alive today will achieve eternal life.
Your consciousness will be transferred into neutrinos or something stupid like that.
You will exist beyond the eternal expansion and collapse of the universe – beyond the big
bang, yet within it.
Lost within the eternal expansion and contraction of the universe, thinking about how
the rebelfish disproved Einstein or how he finally made sense out of sausages.
You’ll remember that faint smile and feeling slightly less rubbish for a brief second – then
remember the long dead Tim willow.
The man who died several times during the making of this blog.
You’ll also remember him as a bit unlucky.
Eternal life was invented the day after his death.
You’ll laugh at the irony of a society, a whole world renaming itself after him – when he will never see it.
My dream ended – I awoke in a field of mildly amused cattle -but was it a prophecy?
Remember to share the memories of Tim Willow and Zager and Evans obviously.
How will you manage after I’m dead?
I recommend you get your counselling in early.
Even worse – you may never find out if I die.
That can be even worse.
Relax.
I have scheduled my blog posts for the next 30 years.
My posts will appear, living or dead.
Tim timminy tim timminy tim timpani. A poe calypso farce omen dei, go! Twinkle timple you’re a star, shining as supernova.
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prize-worthy. Even now on a Willow inspired Bezospace wagon statues are going universal
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Statute of timiwillations
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Watch this space. This shit just go real.
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Oh Tim. What an hysterically funny post to wake up to. I will need to read it three or ten times to take in the fulk depth of its funniness. I love it!
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Don’t mourn for me just yet 🙂 Be assured the new world will prosper one day….
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I am not mourning. I am celebrating – your humour lol. Love it
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Don’t spoil it for me. I wrote it but I haven’t read it yet 🙂
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Lol Tim
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I’m curious… this statue we’ll be bowing to every day? What pose did the exalted Willow take…..
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A bit bendy, like the tree or like that thing you see outside of car dealerships..
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Ah yes, that crazed yellow man with the wild hair gyrating back and forth? Next time I see one I shall prostrate myself before it in your honor.
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What a bleak and self-centered future it will be. The living will envy the dead, mostly because they’ve got a place to lie down…
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But what about the brief chance of a wry smile as willow is remembered. Maybe it was just wind.
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Your memory will outlive you long enough to collect the insurance…
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Fingers crossed they don’t spot the loophole
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The thought that, after your deification, (make sure you include all the i’s) there will be only vegetarian sausages available, makes me want to jump in front of a speeding jelly. A sort of custards last stand. Maybe I’m being a trifle melodramatic!
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I had to read parts of this twice. You still need the name change to Peter’s pundering.. 🙂
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A person who makes sense out of sausages deserves to be worshipped! 😀
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I agree entirely 🙂 Once I get one worshipper it will be time to tithe…… 🙂
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