My boss called me into his office yesterday. I was expecting the worst and I got it. He said “I’m sorry I can’t employ you.” “Not enough stupid things are happening.” “You’ve worked here a while and,honestly, you’re not living up to the utter stupidity you promised at the interview. Can you really say that […]
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.’ — W.C. Fields The definition of insanity,according to Einstein, is doing the same thing and expecting different results,so I wanted to test this fully. I lived my life for many years in a ridiculous yet consistent […]
First Bite Not all fruits are funny. Look at the apple. Where are the jokes? This apple went into a bar.. No it didn’t. It’s an apple. See? The first bite of the apple led to the knowledge of good and evil. Comedy came just after as a way to handle the horror of that […]
This is my first Sponsored post. Please feel free to check my affiliations. As a blogger,especially a humour blogger, the first thing you learn is people just can’t help sending you free products. I have had so many nookmark bookmarks I was able to build a house extension with the bamboo they are made out […]
Hello? Yes. Hi. My battery is a bit low, I can’t talk long. They’ve also turned me to stone. Yes, the medusa. My mistake,really. It’s not too bad. I have a great view. I’m at Castle Howard Yes where they filmed Brideshead Revisited Ugh. I think a dog is going to piss on my plinth. […]
After I died I moved into a realm of pure thought. My wandering was over yet my worrying had just begun. I realised one thing. Every thought that ever existed exists as energy eternally. Every positive thought creates an angel. I noticed more and more beings surround me as my thoughts manifested. Thousands and thousands […]
To some life is about success, accumulating money, I failed at that. I even failed at killing. that’s how useless I am. Getting one over on other people, gives a fleeting feeling of joy,superiority. You can become powerful, living in your temporary freedom with all your wealth. Ruled by your ego with all the illusions […]
Anecdote Provision Service – Jobs Available Now As part of my work for the Anecdote Provision Service (APS) it is my pleasure to share with you another opportunity. Purely for the simple,bored and mindless. I present you with a choice of anecdotes. Don’t use them all at once. Save it for when someone looks […]
As we all know March 5th is remember your hobo day. You remember your hobo, right? Everyone has known at least one. They’re called Tramps in England. A bunch of other stuff has different names in America. We’ve all had that discussion right? It’s a boot. It’s a tap. It’s a fanny. Lets skip it […]
I’ve made a few mistakes in my life. I sold my soul to the Devil, closed the car door right onto my thumb and once turned my finger green with burns while cooking. It ended up as a happy accident as I discovered the Devil’s affiliate scheme. I signed up immediately. My blogging really took […]
