The mental age of most of my readers is about 5 years old.
Or is it my mental age?
I get most things the wrong way round,apart from my shoes.
I put them on the wrong feet deliberately to confuse people.
The following advice applies to mental and physical ages.
Life Long Learning
As you grow older you won’t stop learning. It doesn’t stop when you leave school.
If you are lucky it will continue your whole life.
There are two important lessons I can share with you now that will save you a lot of time.
When you are a child, people often tell you the truth as you are no threat to them.
Let me tell you the truth about the two most important things as a child :
1. It is important to make people look.
This works best when you made them look at nothing.
My preferred method is the finger point and startled eyes. The victim will then turn their head.
You then say “I made you look.”
The fun you will have over the next few years will be amazing.
2. It is important to find out – what hurts.
It is important to find someone younger and more helpless than you.
Your weapons :
Chinese burns, a soft thump, a nip, a flick,hair pulling or a karate chop to the knee. This is more complicated to get right but can cause the knee to move by itself.
Each time you use one of your weapons you have to say “Did that hurt?”
If it didn’t hurt then the same weapon must be used again only with more force.
This continues until the necessary reaction is received.
This can be crying or a loud shout for a parent.
Be sure not to have any witnesses.
Deny everything.
The Best Years are just beginning
The “I made you look / does that hurt game” is usually played by children.
However, I have learnt, it is even more annoying to play when you are an adult.
Isn’t that a beautiful homage to the 5 year old game player you used to be?
As you descend into senility,what other childish games are you going to bring back into your life?
Did you read this? Are you blonkers?
For children bigger than me, I developed a different technique.
When I got older I used the Wisdom of Solomon.
The rebel fish 
Got your nose is always good for a chuckle….. unless your intended victim suffers from Hansen’s Disease. Then, not so much.
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Then you’d literally have it. Just drove past an old leper hospital today, strangely enough.
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Then you missed your chance…. damn.
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I used to enjoy looking intently up to the sky and following a non existent object. It helped if a group of three or four did it together. A crowd would soon gather and then we’d move on!
Of course, it doesn’t work anymore. You just get stomped to the ground by all those people gazing down at their phones.
Oh bugger!!!!!!!
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yeh, it’s impossible to have fun anymore 🙂 ah well back to my conkers app
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Those safety goggles really suit you!
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My sister (the annoying one) used the “I know you are, but what am I?” to GREAT effect. That one was guaranteed to make my face turn red until I had to fling up my arms and stomp out of the room. I wonder if that line would work on a boss? 🤣
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seems like she’s still annoying 🙂 At least she isn’t your boss…
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Naw, that was my poor attempt at a joke 😊 Thankfully, she stopped torturing me a long time ago and decided being best friends was WAY better 🥰
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and you are still allowed to get your own back….
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Excellent. Thanks!!!
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Chinese burns & donkey scrubs,
Haven’t given or received a decent one of those for an age.
No backsies,
Was a thing.
Allowed one to have the last word.
Could hurl insult followed by “no backsies”
The insulted wasn’t permitted to insult the insultee in response to initial insult.
Amazingly, it worked.
Haven’t tried it lately .
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skinchies… hadn’t heard of backsies
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