I’ve been working for the anecdote provision service (APS) for a number of years.
It’s great. It’s only part time but I get paid for things I would have been doing anyway.
It’s all about engaging bored and boring people.
They may only be boring as they are short of anecdotes.
It’s my job to provide them.
If you’re living in the country for example.
There’s not much going on – look there’s a cow.
The farmer moved the sheep again.
One of them baas funny.
I step in, problem solved.
A Master at Work
I was on holiday in Denmark and went out for a walk one day, as I like to find those quiet silent places without many people.
Places the anecdote provision service doesn’t normally reach.
I saw a house, right out of the way. I figured no-one had visited for months.
There was smoke coming out of the chimney so I figured someone was in.
I went up and knocked on the door.
An old woman answered.
“Do you like monopoly?” I said.
She looked at me sternly and said “Your ass has ears.” (En rov med orer)
She slammed the door in my face.
One anecdote provided.
I had to leave my business card on the step, as the rule in APS is good anecdotes only
knock once.
The woman will now tell someone about what happened.
There will be now two people feeling every so slightly more amused in the countryside for a bit.
Who knows how many people know about that time that strange guy came to the door?
She also gave me an anecdote for free – which I’m sharing with you now.
Just as Einstein said – one of the miracles of the world is compound interest.
I apply the same rule for my work with the APS.
I never take a day off.
My Ass has ears
As all Americans know most of life is about describing every single thing but using the word ass to do it.
Your ass is mine. You’re a jack-ass,kiss-ass,dumb-ass
Your ass is grass, your ass is….. anyway I’m not going to bust my ass for you..
Yet the Danes also have an intense verbally expressive ass tendency.
The Danish use the surreal expression your ass has ears if they are talking to someone they think is a fool.
There are many more.
Do you want to test any anecdotes out on me?
I can put you forward for a job with the APS.
Part-time positions only. No emoluments.
We’re all about helping others,whether they want it or not.
APS – taking the mindless out of the ordinary – making the ordinary mind less.
What does that even mean?
The link to the Danish “ass is ears” is from a site which studies semiotics.
They label it expressive nonsense.
Jabberwocky would be another example.
It seems I have finally found a descriptive term for all my posts so far –
“expressive nonsense.”
All my expressions are purely nonsense, but I take the approach of poetic linguistic devices in my approach to cymbalstic semiology
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But do you play Monopoly?
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I play whatever games, provided there is someone to play with. And if I can be bothered at the time.
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My ass definitely has ears… keep talking.
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Do you accept the job as our Maine representative?
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I do.
Proudly…
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It’s actually preferred and encouraged to hold onto an ass by the ears, very effective!!!
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Finally a label that makes sense “expressive nonsense”!!!!
An absolutely perfect description of your blogs 😀
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I ran out of anecdotes because somebody was chasing me. She looked very much like an ass with ears on her ass. I do like to play games, but mostly like to play with myself. Now there’s an anecdote for you!
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Unfortunately we at the APS have standards. This means that some anecdotes have to be rejected. , I am sure you can use the ones I have given you, or you will think of more in due course. Oh.. and ,word to the wise …avoid children’s parties!
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The restraining order said that too!
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For children and puns? Or just children…
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I’m tied to all sorts of things, but that is another story!
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🤣 your ass has ears 🤣👍 ha ha ha
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Its always best to hold onto your ass by the ears!!!
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Hi Tim, Happy 2019! I’m Nominating you for the Mystery Blogger Award! Here is the link:
https://wordpress.com/post/lahla.blog/553
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I’m going to have to use that ass has ears. That’s marvelous.
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It’s funny what you find sometimes,even when you’re not looking
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I couldn’t agree more! 🙌
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