Why are you whispering?

church text

There is one thing you do not need to practice.

Riding a bike.

Everyone says you never forget how to ride a bike.

No need to practice.

I can ride a bike anytime I want.

 

What about Whispering?

 

Every now and again I whisper for no reason at all.

I just need the practice. Imagine how embarrassing it would be if I couldn’t whisper.

In all the quiet places, imagine going in with my normal voice,like a person with a packet of chips at a classical concert.

If I wasn’t so stupid I would be permanently embarrassed.

So I’ve been told. Many times.

I could give you the exact number but I would need to look it up in my archive.

But you can say anything with words can’t you?

 

Whispering etiquette

 

When I whisper randomly four things happen.:

  1. the other person always whispers back.
  2. Both people continue whispering for no reason.
  3.  The other person asks “Why are we whispering?
  4. Laughter is compulsory when question 3 is asked.

Allergy to Whispers

 

I still force myself to practice even though I am allergic to whispers.

It has an effect on me worse than the loudest noise ever has.

My skin crawls, I feel a tightness in my back and tension in my internal organs.

I want to violently scream at them to stop.

Yet my random whispers create a moment of joy for someone.

For a brief moment, their problems are just a little bit less.

 

Time to Step Up.

 

Get involved. Yes I mean you.

Try out some random whispers.

Tell me what happened and create those random moments of joy.

Help me, please. Don’t let me be the last of the random whisperers.

I am allergic and my whispers will slowly kill me. Just like they killed my father and his father before him.

If I do one thing in this life, let it be that I pass on the power of random whispers.


 


Tim Willow

What are your best or worst whispering experiences?

 

 

32 thoughts on “Why are you whispering?

  1. Oh boy can I tell you about whispering. After thyroid surgery right before grad school , I was left unable to do anything but whisper as the surgeon accidentally cut one of my vocal chords. I sounded like…..Jackie Kennedy, literally. And I was in social work school which meant 2 days a week I had to see clients and speak in whispers. After 8 hours I thought my head would fall off my neck it ached so much. Gradually I was able over several years to talk in a normal voice. So I don’t whisper anymore- I doubt I’ll ever forget how. And all that was a very loooong time ago, XD.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. LOL! I love this:

    1.the other person always whispers back.
    2.Both people continue whispering for no reason.
    3.The other person asks “Why are we whispering?
    4.Laughter is compulsory when question 3 is asked.

    and that last one is so true! Why are whispers so funny?! 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  3. About two years ago, I had an experience of sudden hearing loss. During the episode and throughout most of the recovery, I felt like I had a hearing superpower. The ENT said it was because my brain no longer understood what was background noise (to be ignored) and I was hearing everything within range. I heard two women whispering in the kitchen (across from my office) that “maybe Dan could reach this, do you think we should ask him?” so I got up and got the thing they wanted. They were shocked.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. I adore this post. * I recall a professor in Japan speaking more softly to get attention and maybe I will too. * those goosebumps: ASMR * grandson 6 far too shouty as we played a board game on Christmas Day. I turned it into a secret spy game where we 4 players had to whisper: relief all round.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Whispering at the girl never fails to induce peals of laughter. PEALS. Doesn’t matter where we are — grocery store, church, library. Even if it’s a place that requires whispers something about it makes her bust out laughing.

    Liked by 1 person

Become a blonker. Please join in and leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.