but the penis mightier than the sword
William Shakespeare
Re-enactment
Each year the mayor held a medieval re-enactment at Bamburgh castle.
A famous castle, directly on the coast at Northumberland, in North East England. The battle was set up at the front of the keep, towards the Neville Tower. If you looked out to sea, you could see Holy Island. Only accessible by road at low tide.
They usually invited a celebrity guest to start proceedings, as long as they were cheap.
Richard Simmons was doing it for the third year running.
Rehearsal
All the men were standing around waving their swords about, trying to be the alpha.
About to get medieval on each other.
Grown ups pretending to be knights, cuirasses hanging out.
Testing to see who could be cuirrassier than the next guy.
Alpha,Beta,Zeta, Beatcha
I was always taught that actions speak louder than words.
At the start of the pretend battle, I stepped forward proudly.
With my hands on my hips, I dropped my trousers.
I stood fully proud in front of them all.
Everyone paused,even Richard Simmons.
I knew a blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword, but…
the penis mightier than the sword.
They put down their swords and refused to fight until I was removed.
Who’s the alpha now?
Richard saves the day
Richard took me aside.
“The PEN is mightier than the sword, Tim.”
“Put it away now.”
He leaned into me.
“What are you doing later?” Richard Said.
Actions do indeed speak louder than words. If you rush your reading and miss a single space you can be disgraced.
But it’s the actions I based on words I misread that were the problem.
For the want of a nail the kingdom is lost.
What was lost by missing a space?
Nothing : I got to meet Richard Simmons.
Perhaps I should have stayed with the wisdom of Solomon.
The rebel fish 
So, does this mean the penis is mightier than the sword or that you’ll do anything to get attention?
LOL.
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Wasn’t my fault. Shakespeare write it wrong
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Are you emulating Trump now?
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Why? I don’t need to learn how to be a fool 🙂
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I knew where this was going… and still, I read.
Now there’s another horrible mental image forever stuck in my head.
Damn you.
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Blame Shakespeare 🙂
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Did he have his willy waving in the wind?
No….
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The post is sort of a literal version of his name..
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Shaking his proverbial spear?
Ah, Will… you old devil.
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There’s a danger in taking things literally but bamburgh Castle is worth a look- history etc . You can actually live there $1500 per month
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I’ve been to Bamburgh castle many times, but I’ve never met Richard Simmons. Also, every time I’ve been, I’ve never seen a penis that normal?
By the way, where have you hidden Richard? I heard he prefers Dick now!
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nice!
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Badass. Respect!!!
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Lol
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Great sword or word. Hope the pen is , to break or not to break, or penis, mightier than the sword.
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I remembered my friend Tony said this to me 20 years ago, was in the Navy,then a tramp,would quote Kipling and dostoyevsky . A beard that made him look like a little gnome 🙂
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Excellent!!!
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Thanks for reading Bryan 🙂 loads more like it
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🤣🤣 I love your work so much. Good for Richard Simmons.. he’s the real mvp lol great post.
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Thank you. This was real it actually happened 🙂 Richard Simmons always saves the day.
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something in that William Shakespeare quote at the beginning distracted throughout haha
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A simple mistake caused me a lot of problems 🙂
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your problems gave me a little laugh…thanks Tim
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Thanks, they’re supposed to 🙂 nice when it works
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