Playing the bagpipes is everyone’s dream right?
Then why not become a piper at a golf course?
There are at least 17,448 golf courses in america
At 5pm there is at least one that hires a Scottish piper to stand outside the bar and play the bagpipes.
From my personal knowledge that means there are at least 17,447 job vacancies.
Expertise in bagpipes not a requirement.
You just need to make a noise with them.
You’ll figure it out.
It’s all about taking off your underwear and looking drunk,as far as I can tell.
Oh yes – and the Kilt.
Scottish nationality not a requirement.
Remember – if you’re drunk enough – everyone will assume you’re Scottish.
Speech must be unintelligible.
Working hours
Work starts at 4.55pm each day and ends at 5.05pm.
It is expected to stay on and drink after that, just enough to become Scottish.
Usually everyone is Scottish by about 1am.
If you manage yourself professionally sometimes in the morning you will wake up Scottish.
After that your time is your own.
Tim Willow
As a Scottish woman, I find this thoroughly offensive to my culture. We don’t all sit around in kilts, drinking and playing bagpipes all day long.
Disclaimer: I’m not a Scottish woman. All Scottish people really do sit around in kilts, drinking and playing bagpipes all day long.
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Bagpipes are rationed to 5 minutes at 5pm. One of the major factors in reducing the murder rates at golf courses.
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I’m a Scot…. Clan MacGregor. Sign me up!
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Somehow I kinda knew…
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My love of the drink gave me away?
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Dorothy McParker told me in a dream
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That bitch never could keep her mouth shut…
🤣
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I have 2 owls. Hoots Man!
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I hope you didn’t steal them just so you could make that comment.
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The perfect job for you Tim! Which golf course do you like the best and when can you start? You can change your name to MacWillow. 😀
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The working hours suit me well
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LOL, I guess so 😀
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I’d do it but penguins really creep me out. Sorry.
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