Scottish Piper jobs still available


Playing the bagpipes is everyone’s dream right?

Then why not become a piper at a golf course?

There are at least 17,448 golf courses in america

At 5pm there is at least one that hires a Scottish piper to stand outside the bar and play the bagpipes.

From my personal knowledge that means there are at least 17,447 job vacancies.

Expertise in bagpipes not a requirement.

You just need to make a noise with them.

You’ll figure it out.

It’s all about taking off your underwear  and looking drunk,as far as I can tell.

Oh yes – and the Kilt.

Scottish nationality not a requirement.

Remember – if you’re drunk enough – everyone will assume you’re Scottish.

Speech  must be unintelligible.

Working hours

Work starts at 4.55pm each day and ends at 5.05pm.

It is expected to  stay on and drink after that, just enough to become Scottish.

Usually everyone is Scottish by about 1am.

If you manage yourself professionally sometimes in the morning you will wake up Scottish.

After that your time is your own.

Tim Willow




13 thoughts on “Scottish Piper jobs still available

  1. As a Scottish woman, I find this thoroughly offensive to my culture. We don’t all sit around in kilts, drinking and playing bagpipes all day long.

    Disclaimer: I’m not a Scottish woman. All Scottish people really do sit around in kilts, drinking and playing bagpipes all day long.

    Liked by 3 people

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