Sausages in Fiction hopes
I emailed ten sausage factories one day.
I needed to make sure my sense out of non-sense post was completely realistic.
I was interested in finding out ideas that would improve production for a fictional sausage situation.
A fictional sausage situation is often the best one to find yourself in.
Only one of them replied.
The last hope
It said “We’re not that kind of sausage factory.”
I looked at the link.
It did not occur to me that a “sausage factory” could be for adults only.
I have not copied the link here.
The only reason : Some things are far worse in your imagination.
For those inspired by my original story.
I hope you find the right type of sausages or that the right type of sausages find you.
Tim Willow
It’s funny the way life works sometimes.
It was a complete accident I emailed the sausage factory for adults.
I was so disappointed at not getting a response from any firms that make sausages, I told
them what I was trying to do.
They seemed to feel a little sorry for me at first.
They offered me a part-time job as a novelty act.
Depending on your sausage preferences – food or adult fun.
Maybe you’ll see me one day.
Some things are far worse in your imagination.
This may be the only time you try to think of an elephant and fail.
Tim Willow in the sausage factory eternally replaying in your mind.
The only solution – call the spa hotline.
The rebel fish 
Thank you for ruining sausages for me forever.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just an ordinary day in the life of a blogger. You’re welcome 🙂
LikeLike
To be fair, bloggers don’t care about sausage makers either. You get what you give.
Actually, that’s horseshit. You don’t get what you give. You can give everything, including the kitchen sink, and still get Fresh Apples.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve always looked after the sausage makers more than the cheese makers. What sort of sink is it? Can anyone truly give and not count the cost? How much for the apples?
LikeLiked by 1 person
What you got against the cheese makers?
LikeLiked by 1 person
They’re splitters.
LikeLike
😂🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Blessed are the cheese makers” ~ Life of Bwian
It’s not an actual sink, it’s more of a bucket…the kind you build sandcastles in. But I have no sand, so we’ll use sausages.
Fresh Apples cost sweet Fanny Adams 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s always difficult to know how many sausages are in a link. I couldn’t be bothered to copy the link, but here is one I made earlier:
Thicker sausages, like salamella mantovana or Tuscan “knife-cut” sausage are divided in links, but their size varies hugely: salamella can count 1.5–2 links in every half kilo (slightly more than a pound), while the Tuscan sausage is much shorter, with 3–4 links in each half kilo. Generally, 4 0r 5 per pound.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Do you think the guy who invented sausage links gets paid every time anyone clicks on a link? Perhaps it’s the same person who invented cats eyes
LikeLiked by 1 person
Didn’t he get run over?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Whole new meaning to sausage stuffing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well , alas for the job you didn’t quite get 🙂 Reception as I recall 🙂
LikeLike
Not a job I would ever apply for.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There are just some jobs that aren’t worth the money- a novelty act at an
adult sausage factory might be one of them, LOL.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They say you don’t want to see how sausage or laws are made. Maybe next week you could email ten lawmakers. You might get more than one that isn’t appropriate, but it might be worth a shot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 You still have laws?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mostly about making sausage, but yes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Perfect 🙂 it’s all about priorities
LikeLiked by 1 person
[…] Or the way he outed sausage factories hatred of bloggers? […]
LikeLike