The day I emailed ten sausage factories

sausage makers

Sausages in Fiction hopes

I emailed ten sausage factories one day.

I needed to  make  sure my sense out of non-sense post was completely realistic.

I was interested in finding out ideas that would improve production for a fictional sausage situation.

A fictional sausage situation is often the best one to find yourself in.

Only one of them replied.


The last hope


It said “We’re not that kind of sausage factory.”

I looked at the link.

It did not occur to me that a “sausage factory” could be for  adults only.

I have not  copied the link here.

The only reason : Some things are far worse in your imagination.

For those inspired by my original story.

I hope you find the right type of sausages or that the right type of sausages find you.


don't make sense make sausages

Tim Willow

It’s funny the way life works sometimes.

It was a complete accident I emailed the sausage factory for adults.

I was so disappointed at not getting a response from any firms that make sausages, I told

them what I was trying to do.

They seemed to feel a little sorry for me at first.

They offered me a part-time job as a novelty act.

Depending on your sausage preferences – food or adult fun.

Maybe you’ll see me one day.

Some things are far worse in your imagination.

This may be the only time you try  to think of an elephant and fail.

Tim Willow in the sausage factory eternally replaying in your mind.

The only solution – call the spa hotline.







20 thoughts on “The day I emailed ten sausage factories

  1. To be fair, bloggers don’t care about sausage makers either. You get what you give.

    Actually, that’s horseshit. You don’t get what you give. You can give everything, including the kitchen sink, and still get Fresh Apples.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s always difficult to know how many sausages are in a link. I couldn’t be bothered to copy the link, but here is one I made earlier:

    Thicker sausages, like salamella mantovana or Tuscan “knife-cut” sausage are divided in links, but their size varies hugely: salamella can count 1.5–2 links in every half kilo (slightly more than a pound), while the Tuscan sausage is much shorter, with 3–4 links in each half kilo. Generally, 4 0r 5 per pound.

    Liked by 1 person

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