“There’s only one thing that’s worse than having an unhappy childhood, and that’s having a too-happy childhood.” Dylan Thomas
At one point I made a list of everything I could remember.
Where you live, what you’re wearing. The best places to hide.
Oh hold on, that post is for my stalking blog.
About five things in total I remembered.
But you can’t force it like that.
Memories have to be triggered by present events,even at random.
Make a note when a memory hits lest it fall quickly below the sea.
Life is about losing slowly, memories giving us small solace.
While it may be easy to think of an elephant if you read the word elephant, trying to
think of all you ever remembered is more difficult.
I tried to go back to my earliest memories.
Trying to stand up in my crib, struggling to get to my feet.
Thinking of me as ‘me’ for the first time.
Climbing over the wall of the crib to freedom.
Opening and closing drawers just for fun.
I climbed up on to the writing desk and broke off the lever that opened it.
I felt bad, and experienced something that felt ‘wrong’ for the first time.
I felt shame. I was never told off for doing it. They must have thought I was too young.
Lying in my pram, family towering over me blocking the sun.
People were always standing around me all talking at once.
Who are these people? I didn’t invite them?
Goo Goo Goo
Enthusiasm. Energy. Talking to me in 3rd person.
Talking to me in baby talk.
He’s a good boy,yes he is, you’re a good boy aren’t you?
Why don’t they talk to me normally?
All the heads peering in at me.
Isn’t he a good boy?
I remember my first words :
“Don’t patronise me”
Did you read this? Are you blonkers?
What is your first memory of being patronised?