I had the recent experience of pretending I was going to a spa.
I didn’t like it one bit.
Perhaps my imagination needs to go to a spa.
My imagination is threatened by pretending things it might like.
My mental safespace is imagining a cup of tea then hoping someone else makes one
before I die.
The Horror of potential rubbing
I registered and went into the changing rooms, changing into my spa clothing :
A white flannel dressing gown.
I looked at the itinerary :
Ego Boost – We say things you want to hear about yourself.
Un-reciprocated rubbing – potentially clean strangers rub you continuously for a bit.
Something light and healthy. You won’t like it.
Seeds. Perhaps something that looks like sick in a glass.
Comes with a light sprinkle of superiority.
The worse it is, the better you feel.
Aren’t spas magical?
Ego Boost – We remind you that you’re so much better than your friends.
Your friends aren’t at the Spa, are they? Losers.
Optional extreme bending or hot rocks piled on your back.
Refreshing Broccoli Smoothie. – A superfood.
Therapeutic Fish Buckets.
Relax with your feet in our quite new plastic buckets. Let the fish mildly nibble you while we whisper compliments in your ear.
Cod not guaranteed.
We cover your face in spludge. It could be anything,we usually say it’s good for you.
Spludge content varies from time to time and cannot be either confirmed or denied.
Taking my power back.
After I looked at the itinerary I immediately decided to stop pretending I was in a spa.
I went into the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea.
It did give me an idea for a business,which I will tell you about next week.
Are you blonkers?
What else have I done? I failed to save the world last week, if that counts.
Will you be happy to sign up to my spa?
What’s your mental safespace?