Mental Massage of Mind and Body

mental massage for mind and body

The Spa

I had the recent experience of pretending I was going to a spa.

I didn’t like it one bit.

Perhaps my imagination needs to go to a spa.

My imagination is threatened by pretending things it might like.

My mental safespace is imagining a cup of tea then hoping someone else makes one

before I die.


The Horror of potential rubbing


I registered and went into the changing rooms, changing into my spa clothing :

A white flannel dressing gown.

I looked at the itinerary :




Ego Boost –ย  We say things you want to hear about yourself.

Un-reciprocated rubbing – potentially clean strangers rub you continuously for a bit.


Light Lunch


Something light and healthy. You won’t like it.

Seeds. Perhaps something that looks like sick in a glass.

Comes with a light sprinkle of superiority.

The worse it is, the better you feel.

Aren’t spas magical?


Afternoon Delight


Ego Boost – We remind you that you’re so much better than your friends.

Your friends aren’t at the Spa, are they? Losers.

Optional extreme bending or hot rocks piled on your back.

Refreshing Broccoli Smoothie. – A superfood.

Therapeutic Fish Buckets.

Relax with your feet in our quite new plastic buckets. Let the fish mildly nibble you while we whisper compliments in your ear.

Cod not guaranteed.

Face Spludge

We cover your face in spludge. It could be anything,we usually say it’s good for you.

Spludge content varies from time to time and cannot be either confirmed or denied.


Taking my power back.


After I looked at the itinerary I immediately decided to stop pretending I was in a spa.

I went into the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea.

It did give me an idea for a business,which I will tell you about next week.


Tim Willow

Are you blonkers?

Can I ask you a question?

What else have I done? I failed to save the world last week, if that counts.

Will you be happy to sign up to my spa?

What’s your mental safespace?


33 thoughts on “Mental Massage of Mind and Body

  1. I’m not much of a spa person, or anything that relies on “potentially clean strangers” touching me. Doctor visits are bad enough. I can make my own tea. If you were here, I’d make you a cup, unless you’re the complaining sort.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You have exactly described my idea of what a spa is like which is why I’ve never gone to one. Except for one thing- cod are way too big to be used in that way- what you need are baby piranhas, XD.
    I think Peter Pondering has the right idea- I’d also like the IP address of your brain ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • ๐Ÿ™‚ ty – welcome – you’re a blonker now ๐Ÿ™‚ it’s true you can get disease – they don’t change the fish every time after each customer, so the fish kind of transfer disease to the next set of feet.


  3. I’ve never been comfortable with anyone, like a masseuse, massaging my body. It is entirely too personal. So, in one sense, another being so-called health food, giving up my body to someone else’s manipulation puts me off on spas, in general. I think I’ll pass on the spa, thank you very much.

    Liked by 1 person

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