The Spa
I had the recent experience of pretending I was going to a spa.
I didn’t like it one bit.
Perhaps my imagination needs to go to a spa.
My imagination is threatened by pretending things it might like.
My mental safespace is imagining a cup of tea then hoping someone else makes one
before I die.
The Horror of potential rubbing
I registered and went into the changing rooms, changing into my spa clothing :
A white flannel dressing gown.
I looked at the itinerary :
Morning
Ego Boost – We say things you want to hear about yourself.
Un-reciprocated rubbing – potentially clean strangers rub you continuously for a bit.
Light Lunch
Something light and healthy. You won’t like it.
Seeds. Perhaps something that looks like sick in a glass.
Comes with a light sprinkle of superiority.
The worse it is, the better you feel.
Aren’t spas magical?
Afternoon Delight
Ego Boost – We remind you that you’re so much better than your friends.
Your friends aren’t at the Spa, are they? Losers.
Optional extreme bending or hot rocks piled on your back.
Refreshing Broccoli Smoothie. – A superfood.
Therapeutic Fish Buckets.
Relax with your feet in our quite new plastic buckets. Let the fish mildly nibble you while we whisper compliments in your ear.
Cod not guaranteed.
Face Spludge
We cover your face in spludge. It could be anything,we usually say it’s good for you.
Spludge content varies from time to time and cannot be either confirmed or denied.
Taking my power back.
After I looked at the itinerary I immediately decided to stop pretending I was in a spa.
I went into the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea.
It did give me an idea for a business,which I will tell you about next week.
Are you blonkers?
What else have I done? I failed to save the world last week, if that counts.
Will you be happy to sign up to my spa?
What’s your mental safespace?
Sounds like every spa I’ve ever been to..without the ego boosts. Really funny :O) x
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fish buckets?
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Yep I’ve had my toes nibbled by teeny tiny fish in a bucket…..well it was more of a pool than a bucket but yes – very relaxing once the ick factor wears off actually :O) x
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My spa had cod
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Do you still have toes?
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I was lucky, I was only imagining my spa
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certainly cheaper that way ;O) x
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lol,
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…and chips??
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Can you let me have the IP address of your head so that I can visit this spa please?
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🙂 I’m not psychic but there is a post written 3 months ago appearing in 4 days entirely about your comment
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I knew yesterday!
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lol – I thought that wasn’t a pun,then I realised – it’s Peter’s Punday tomorrow
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You forgot about the extreme weight loss for your wallet
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I guess Mainers are strange people. We eat our fish…. and try not to let them eat us.
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I’m not much of a spa person, or anything that relies on “potentially clean strangers” touching me. Doctor visits are bad enough. I can make my own tea. If you were here, I’d make you a cup, unless you’re the complaining sort.
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Lol , no. Unreciprocated rubbing is my other name for it
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You have exactly described my idea of what a spa is like which is why I’ve never gone to one. Except for one thing- cod are way too big to be used in that way- what you need are baby piranhas, XD.
I think Peter Pondering has the right idea- I’d also like the IP address of your brain 🙂
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As usual, a great start to my day. A day at a spa through blonker tinted glasses. One thing that would have further enriched your experience is to imagine them dipping your hands and feet into hot wax; small margin of error on that one. Keep at it Tim, you crack me up.
Joan
My Best Friend Adeline
http://kindness-compassion-and-coaching.com
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🙂 I can’t let my imagination loose with hot wax!
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Haha the fish!!!! I saw an episode of icarly (with the kids I swear), where they all developed a foot fungus from those fish! You’re damn funny. Can’t wait to hear your business idea!
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🙂 ty – welcome – you’re a blonker now 🙂 it’s true you can get disease – they don’t change the fish every time after each customer, so the fish kind of transfer disease to the next set of feet.
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You’re going to become a masseuse?
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I’m buying extra buckets,stocking up on spludge and rocks
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You go girl 👍
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Love this..made me laugh! Thank you!😂
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Thanks Holly you’re a blonker now 🙂
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I’ve never been comfortable with anyone, like a masseuse, massaging my body. It is entirely too personal. So, in one sense, another being so-called health food, giving up my body to someone else’s manipulation puts me off on spas, in general. I think I’ll pass on the spa, thank you very much.
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Lol, I’m the same 🙂
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[…] Here’s how the original spa idea was formed […]
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Amazing write-up!!
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Thank you .I’m sure there will be a spa follow up at some point 🙂
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[…] had a smile on his face, glowing like he’d been to a spa, […]
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