In a word, misophonia. (Fear of sound)
A fascinating and somewhat disturbing manifestation that boasts no diagnostic criteria and isn’t thought of as a psychiatric condition.
The term Misphonia originated in a publication by audiologists Powel & Margaret Jastreboff in 2000 and is described as a neurological disorder whereby certain trigger sounds can provoke extreme negative feelings.
The most common of which is thought to be the sounds made by others when eating or breathing.
Eat celery whilst wearing a mail coif and full chain mail body armour.
The mechanics governing misophonia are linked to a patent and royalty-free kick-ass super power, designed and perfected by evolution known to us as our fight or flight response.
Slurp soup whilst wearing full tactical riot gear.
At one end,
Hearing a person eating or breathing noisily may trigger feelings of discomfort, disgust and the urge to flee.
At the other end, the same noises can provoke hatred, fury, rage and even,
A desire to kill or stop whatever is making the noise.
I’ll say that again (because I enjoy bold italics)
A desire to kill or stop whatever is making the noise. (Webmd.com)
Enjoy crunching biscuits and sinusitis whilst wearing a suit of armour.
Has history accurately recorded the facts?
Our fight or flight response has been around much longer than coming to blows over castle ownership and paying taxes.
Gnaw on roasted pig bones at your peril !
In 1440 at The Black Dinner, the teenage Earl of Douglas and his younger brother, David were slaughtered at a banquet.
Expecting some teenagers to move food around their mouths quietly is a big ask.
Teenagers also huff and tut and sigh and puff a lot.
In 1692 at The massacre of Glencoe; again, after being served dinner,
Captain Robert Campbell killed his hosts.
Many of us may just say “thank you, that was lovely ” and begs the question,
Was murder at mealtimes due to misophonia?
What if history completely overlooked the possibility because nobody could be bothered to invent it yet?
Too busy inventing buckshot, stage plays and slim-fit tunics to be worn over tights for the discerning gentleman.
If you’re curious enough to diagnose your own misophonia tolerance levels:
(1) Fit as much a crunchy foodstuff into own mouth as humanely possible
(2) place own forefingers firmly into ears and hold position while chewing foodstuff thoroughly before swallowing, making as many chewing noises as able.
If you leave the room unharmed, calm and unmurdered at your own hand,
misophonia plays no part in your day to day activities.
Are you blonkers?
The first photo is of British comedian Les Dawson.
Worth looking into if you want to feel strange.