Follow up to Heavens Servers hacked
Spawn Alert
I have spent the longest time trying to convince people.
I was fortunate enough to know Bill Gates before his Microsoft gig.
We both started small, working from our garage at the start.
I was still working in my garage until last year. I didn’t quite have Bills brain.
Lets face it. I don’t have a brain at all.
But Bill always gives me the time of day.
You never know whether he’s patronising you or taking you seriously.
That’s just Bill.
But I was there from the start and that means something.
The hardest thing I ever did – I convinced Bill to believe in the Devil.
Unknown Filters.
If we knew what Bill was doing on our behalf, you would forgive his companies not paying taxes.
Lucky enough he bought a large share in Facebook, so he was able to apply the same tech across both companies.
Even AOL are using it now.
It’s that important.
All this time, people were complaining about spam emails when the real problem was spawn. Demon spawn.
Bill had just been so good at filtering any messages. Nobody knew about it.
Eventually the demons found jobs in silicon valley and were able to infiltrate the technology.
Be careful. Demons can read your mind.
If you get any emails from dead relatives saying they are from heaven– this is a sign.
Do not respond. Do not even answer the door.
I urge you download the Demon Safe Network (DSN) today.
No matter how safe your house, the devil will always find a back door.
The demons have hacked the networks – our software is essentially useless.
So, we have had to go public.
The DSN prevents demons infiltrating your PC or defrosting your internet fridge while you’re at work.
Imagine coming home from work to slightly warm milk.
It’s that serious.
Save your soul
I urge you. Even if you don’t believe. Please download the updated software.
This link can probably save your life – The DSN
The devil has been actively trying to un-invent himself.
I may be the last who believes.
This is a time to be safe. Our souls are always in demand.
Please don’t make the same mistake I did.
Here is the link to the DSN again.
I urge you. Please download the DSN. This may be your last chance.
Only the insane cannot sin, become a blonker.
It may save you from the cloven one.
Free to wander WordPress, full of sound and fury signifying your nothings.
Let Hell be for the feckless and those with good intentions –
One day you will thank me.
So the secret to life, the universe, everything is Cabbages then?
I hear some people sighing with relief “thank God it’s not Kale! It’s not Kale is it!”
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EMERGENCY – the DSN has been replaced with a link to cabbages. it’s too late. Tell your family you love them.
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Errmmm sir? The link is not working. Could it be the demon know what you are up to thus disturb the link?
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I fear it’s too late. After all the work Bill and I have done. It’s too late. Say a prayer
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It’s too late to save yourself. Demons walk among us. Sometimes they even follow you on Twitter.
BTW, I can read your mind. I knew you were cabbaging us.
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Are you serious ? I’m trying to save lives here. Do you think I hacked my own post and put links to cabbages. That’s insanity. There is no hope 🙂
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I think cabbaging is probably your favourite pastime. I imagine you spamming social media with cabbage-based GIFs.
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Strange thing to imagine .This blog can help with demons but with those kind of problems can I suggest a job in a grocers?
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You can. Where do you buy your cabbages? They must have plenty of jobs.
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I really question your priorities. 1. Save your soul. 2. Watch Jeremy Kyle 3. Cabbages. – just a suggestion
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1. I already sold mine.
2. I don’t have a TV.
3. I find cabbage-related flatulence amusing.
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Oh did you get a nookmark bookmark?
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No, they don’t work with a Kindle. They just slide off.
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I tagged you mybookworld24.wordpress.com/2018/10/15/the-versatile-blogger-award/
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This blog is a well-paved road…..
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🙂 thx, the only road to freedom from demons
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Snicker. 🙂
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Gotta say, it’s hard to get me to laugh out loud at 4:45am, but you did it. This post just cracked me up. Please give my best regards to Bill!
Joan
My Best Friend Adeline
http://kindness-compassion-and-coaching.com
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Glad to hear it 🙂 there are more posts lying about somewhere….
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Will you stop leaving posts lying around….I just tripped over one and fell into a stack of KALE! No need to be concerned though (I could see that you were very concerned) as it was curly kale, so broke my fall. Now I need a new fall because a broken one just will not hack it. Talking of hacking it, someone seems to have hacked my post and it has notches all the way up. Kale sera sera!
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🙂 No time to save the fallen, I have to say mankind
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A noble cause indeed!
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There will be a statue of Peter’s Punnderings to commemorate the fallen in the eternal battle
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I thank you, kind sir, but could I be stuffed and mounted instead?
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Umbrella stand?
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Perfect!
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I am so happy to have something new to worry about.
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Lol, me and Bill are doing our best to sort it but I fear it’s too late 🙂
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I clicked this link in Internet Explorer and a vortex opened in front of my desk.
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Brilliant 🙂 I was hoping someone would get the vortex. It could a time vortex or intra-dimensional one. Could you jump through please. Dan,it’s down to you now. You’re our last hope.
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[…] else have I done? I failed to save the world last week, if that […]
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[…] Part III – Spawn Alert – Update your DSN -or be at risk -Heaven’s servers hacked […]
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