I highly recommend selling your soul.
Lets face it. Things haven’t worked out for you that well.
Lets be honest.
There’s a lot of life still to live.
Why not make the rest of it something special?
The Devil could even make sure you have a full life span.
Free life insurance if you like.
Devil is in the details
It can be a tense negotiation – selling your soul.
He negotiated quite well for a dumb devil.
He told me I was worthless. I told him I was worth the whole world.
We both moved a little to get the deal done.
I narrowed it down to two choices.
One soul for a wooden apple pencil holder or a nookmark bookmark.
An obvious choice in the end.
So minus one soul and with my Nookmark Bookmark I settled down to a lifetime of
reading followed by an eternity of torture.
A worthy trade.
You can even put your glasses or something inside it.
You want in?
I would highly recommend you give it a go.
Although I doubt you could negotiate as well as me.
That dumb devil took his lesson that day.
I got a Nookmark Bookmark for goodness sake.
Have you already sold your soul? What did you get for it?
Souls for sale
If you are interested in selling your soul, get in touch.
In the interests of transparency I should declare I am now an affiliate for the Devil.
A great deal. For each soul I get one extra year of life.
More time with my Nookmark Bookmark.
But hey, if you want some quality life changing product – put your soul on the table.
Lets talk.
What do you want in exchange for your soul?
Apart from the things I have done and haven’t done – I have no regrets.
I’m not the only Devils affiliate – be careful.
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Not everyone has my integrity.
The Devils affiliate is only one of many jobs I’ve had over my time.
I used to sell front doors and one sided windows, being a Devil’s Affiliate is hard to beat.
Thanks be to Nookmark Bookmark for letting me use their image.
There is a decent chance I would have used it anyway.
I’ve already sold my soul. These things don’t bother me so much.
I should add I am not an affiliate of Nookmark Bookmark, I think they think I’m mad.
But I do know what the Devil keeps on his night table.
Did you read this? You must be blonkers.
“Apart from the things I have done and haven’t done – I have no regrets.” I love that line. Is it your own creation? If so, I may have to steal it from you. But so what? You sold your soul to the devil.
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🙂 of course,everything’s my own line. I may have to have a word with him,unless you want in . Perhaps there’s a deal to be made 🙂
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My soul is copyrighted and not for sale. Sorry.
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So just an affiliate then?
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If I believed in the devil, I would take offense on her behalf at the “dumb devil” description. It’s a clever devil that can get a man to sell his soul for a Nookmark Bookmark when he could’ve held out for a sausage factory instead.
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excuse me – it’s a “Nookmark bookmark.” I rest my case or my book. The sausage factory post(s) have not arrived yet – are you a fortune teller?
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You’re doing a post on a sausage factory?
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lol wait and see – but very probably yes, if the devil gives me some time off.
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Hmmm?
Decisions Decisions.
If I’m not interested in what’s been mentioned so far, what else is on offer?
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Our revels are now ended…one big bag of revels with only your favorite type in it….
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Would you be interested in a swap? I have a 99’er conker. OOPS – I used to have a 99’er conker. How’s about a new shiny conker? We (that’s the royal we) could even come up with a rhyme based on blonker’s conker and issue a certificate of authenticity. Unfortunately our soul is a little behind so is not available!
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Yes our souls are usually always behind. The only exception I can think of would be contortionists.
I really like the idea of blonker’s conkers, I could get excited about that…
But enough to sell my soul?
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🙂 One blonkers rhyme ordered – you are one of the main blonkers after all – the devil has his own conkers so you may need to sweeten the deal
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Okay.
I would like to swap my soul for his job.
Not an affiliate, the Devil’s own position.
Tell him he can take it or leave it.
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You can’t be the devil in a day, you’ve got to work your way up…prove yourself ..
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I consider all blonkers are plonkers
but never the other way round
and after the offer of conkers
no blonkers are there to be found.
The devil may take the hindmost
I’m not even sure what that means
but a bookmark by Nookmark is tempting
and just about fills all my dreams!
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Perfect. A poem to beat the devil and keep you soul .
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A ponder of beauty, Peter 🙂
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Thank you kindly ma’am.
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As tempting as that is, I’m going to have to pass for now. I’ll need my soul to do battle with the demon abomination growing under my driveway…. but when that’s through, I sure could use a good apple peeler so we’ll talk.
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Works for lobster allergies…..
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As soon as you almost thought about it, the deal is done. One Apple peeler on it’s way 🙂
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But… but… I’m not ready!
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Its never too late…apart from now. It’s too late. Sign up those extra souls to get some extra life…
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So what you’re saying is…. it’s basically evil Amway?
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Yeh sort of Avon,Tupperware selling thing..the Devil copying the best to grow his brand…
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(Ding, dong) Devil calling!
I’m not sure which was worse, the Avon lady at the door or those horrible Tupperware parties I was always avoiding. Both evil in their own ways…
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🙂 🙂
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Since red is traditionally the Devil’s color, you will spend eternity in a state of red. Hmmmmm
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Tempting… Let me sign you up..
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Well, I am not into religion for beginners… 🙂 and one needs not sell their “soul” to realize their dreams, they just need the courage to follow their dreams… one does not possess courage if they sell their “soul” and without that courage, they will not realize their dreams, irregardless of what they do… 🙂
“Until you value yourself you will not value your time, until you value your time you will do nothing with it.”
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So shall I put you down for a nookmark bookmark,then? The biggest victory is working hard to achieve your goals, while the road to hell is paved with good intentions, the devil making work for those idle hands…. Don’t be lazy or the devil will take you…..
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Ahhhhhhhhhh…. well, as I said, I am not into religion so things like the devil, hell, etc are not a issue to begin with… 🙂 I follow my dreams (with open mind, open heart and free spirit) while not being shackled to an ideology and that is a victory in itself, if one is counting… 🙂 I suspect that there are a good many people in this world that have put me down for a lot of things, so whatever floats your boat… 🙂
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realize how seldom they do”.. Eleanor Roosevelt
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So I’ll call that ‘undecided’ 🙂 – thanks for joining in – you’re a blonker if not the devil’s affiliate. Some non-devil posts on the way..
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You are the one that is “undecided”.. 🙂 I know exactly who I am and what I am, now all I have to do is find that rainbow that has the answers to my destiny… the fun and excitement will be the adventure in the chase… 🙂 TTFN…
“If you don’t know where you’re going, you may miss it when you get there”
― Kathleen Long, Chasing Rainbows
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Haha, nice one, Tim. Thanks for making me laugh.
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Thx 🙂 you can laugh? A devil’s miracle! 🙂
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[…] Fish. The post to which I am referring is a witty little yarn that asks the age-old question, “You Sold Your Soul Yet?” Of course, I was in bed, barely able to keep my eyes open, when I read it. So who knows how […]
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What is this ‘soul’ of which you speak? And ‘devil’, what is that? Now a Nookmark Bookmark, that sounds interesting. Tell me more!
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The best thing the devil did was to persuade people he didn’t exist… The soul is your inside of the inside … I don’t have the ability to explain the majesty of a nookmark bookmark…. Perhaps the devil will pay you a visit..
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Let him come. I think the greatest tricks mankind perpetrated were to convince each other we needed a devil on whom to blame our wickedness and a higher being to overcome that devil. But I respect others’ rights to their own beliefs and love without condescension.
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If this was a fictional vignette and not the absolute truth..I would agree :). But I believe things 100% as soon as I write them…. Origins of devil’s and God’s, scapegoats within tribes… Try the owl company a great book
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I looked ‘owl company’ up on Goodreads and amazon.com and the closest thing they returned was Rise of the OWL Company: Why the Face of the Prophetic Has Changed. Is that what you mean? It’s not available through my awesome local public library. It doesn’t look like the sort of thing I’d be willing to spend money on, and no one has yet reviewed it. But do tell me more, maybe you’ll convince me. Or maybe you better send that devil! 😉
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Hah , Karen Maitland the owl killers.. my mistake, interesting book, birth of superstition all that stuff
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[…] He didn’t get a nookmark bookmark obviously. […]
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[…] don’t make the same mistake I […]
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[…] sold my soul to the Devil, closed the car door right onto my thumb and once turned my finger green with burns while […]
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[…] thing you learn is people just can’t help sending you free products. I have had so many nookmark bookmarks I was able to build a house extension with the bamboo they are made out […]
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[…] Others supporting the more satirical,slightly darker posts about the Devil buying souls. […]
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