Humor / My jobs

I’m a failed Serial Killer, that’s why they’re laughing.

Gallery Tim Willow25 Comments

seriallaughing

There are many things that bring people together and many that drive them apart.

If we look to see what we have in common with each other – can we really fall into habits of hatred?

Will we give in to thoughts that separate us, make us different?

There are so many lonely paths to walk in life.

But is there any loneliness near to that of being a failed serial killer?

serialkiller

You manage to kill one person but every time you try to make it a vocation –

It keeps going wrong.

I will deny I am one of those failed serial killers but when  I am driving, I find I  have every sympathy with them.

Laughing

If I’m driving through the suburbs or just in my village –

I have noticed one thing.

People always laugh when you almost kill them.

I don’t feel much disappointment when I almost drive into someone.

I do sometimes feel regret.

When I nearly kill them, they all start laughing.

My inner critic says :

They know I’m a failure.
That they’re laughing at me.

My internal therapist informs me it’s because :

THEY NEVER LOOK WHEN THEY CROSS THE ROAD.

They’re so relieved that I didn’t kill them.
They can’t help but laugh.

At that moment I regret applying my brakes.

 

Tim Willow’s Additional Thoughts :

Most failed serial killers can take some solace in having killed one person.

I haven’t killed anyone, so don’t even have that.

Of course any serious killer would also say that.

Please don’t be scared to leave comments. Become a blonker.

 

I didn’t include insects when counting my kills but some flies were irreversibly damaged when I invented my one-sided windows.

To avoid becoming a serial killer – Don’t lose your sh**

Perhaps that’s how Arthur Bunn or Richard Head feel. – The ‘That’s original defense’

 

25 thoughts on “I’m a failed Serial Killer, that’s why they’re laughing.”

  1. You kill me, you really do!
    Well, you would if you were a success in life, but no, you are a complete failure when its comes to killing.
    However, you are killing yourself quite successfully so I must give you some credit.
    You are breathing, right now you are breathing. Admit it!
    It is a well known fact that those who breathe will surely die.
    Perhaps you are a successful killer after all.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  2. I sympathize with serial killers. I’ve often thought I could’ve been one if I’d met the right (wrong) person early on in life, before my conscience developed and ruined everything. Anyway, I’d say you only have two options: stop almost killing people with your car, or put your foot down and watch them bounce off the windscreen.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. I prefer the character Hannibal Lecture’s style,
    Where he only ate the ‘free range rude’

    A bit like a community service, in a funny old sort of way.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

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