I always found conversation difficult.
Two reasons :
- I can’t maintain a pretend level of interest for longer than one second.
- I can’t break my habit of telling the truth, which seems to be social suicide.
I needed to find a way round this.
I needed a plan for when dialogue fails.
If I didn’t speak then would I actually be lying?
Without speech, I could pretend interest for much longer by just nodding and occasionally moving my eyebrows up and down randomly.
The Plan
I got some carded paper and I wrote down a response to everything anyone could possibly say to me.
I wrote it on a few cards small enough to fit in a pocket.
I figure I could keep different cards in different pockets so I could communicate quickly.
Then , like Tony Orlando and his communication system, I would never have to talk again.
I had my cards at the ready.
Yes — No. —. Don’t know — Nothing
None of your business. – What do you think?
How are you? —No reason —Because — mmm —
Ha-Ha — Funny — -Go away — Fine
I like frogs
You know what question the first person I saw asked me?
What’s that in your hair?
I lifted my hand up and pulled out a piece of cheese.
My card was at the ready.
What do you think?
It looks like cheese.
Yes.
How on earth did you end up with a piece of cheese in your hair?
I started to move my eyebrows up and down randomly showing off my social skills.
None of your business
You’re a strange one.
I like frogs.
The system works.
Tim Willow’s Additional Thoughts
I did feel relieved as the cheese almost revealed my monkey based free cheese system
If you’re blonkers, Why not ask me a stupid question?
I’ll give you a stupid answer.
Shout out to the :
Go to the link for the #coolprompts thingie. I chose “when dialogue fails” for my attempt.
#coolprompts 29 august – 3 september
There are 3 variants/choose any:
- use the phrase ‘when dialogue fails’ in your text
- explain when dialogue fails and why – from psychological point of view
- give an example of the situation through a real or fictional dialogue
Oh I loved this…it made me ell-oh-ell. And as someone who is also easily bored and prone to telling the truth in conversation, I might give those prompt card a go.
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I like frogs 🙂
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I like hairy cheese 😀
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that will also work!
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So, tell me, do you normally walk around with cheese in your hair? What kind of cheese? Personally I like soft cheese like brie.
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With Brie – It does stick in the hair easily , so no chance of losing it. Perhaps a harder cheese would be less hairy. These things happen sometimes.
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I think you should add “I have cheese in my hair” to the stack of reply cards. It works for “What are you wearing to the party?” as well as, “Do we need an umbrella?”
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🙂 You’re free to add your own cards 🙂 but ‘I like frogs’ tends to prevent invitations…
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Not in my world.
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I can easily imagine that happening to you a lot 🙂
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Being covered in frogs… or invited to parties?
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Lol, all possible interpretations. 🙂
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Haha awesome one! I’ve got a really GREAT SKILLS in building of real dialogues 😆😂👍👍
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Thank you 🙂 I actually did this once, when I was very young
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Let’s do it again…for real 😉😂
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Try it even for a few hours! Surprise someone 🙂
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Haha ppl r already scared of me…don’t wanna scare them even more 😂🕺
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Thank u for participating:) 💕💕 can’t say I love frogs…unless they are “Prince Charming” 😬🤐🕺🕺
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Yes.
Do the eyebrows hold meaning?
Is there a systematic code going on with those?
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There could be as soon as I make one up. But I would have to make sure no to transgress Roger Moore’s patented eyebrow communication system
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Finally, a foolproof system of conversation! I think you’re on to something here… 😛
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I’m hoping to mix in Tony Orlando’s knock three times and Roger Moore’s eyebrow system to give it variety.
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So original and really funny :O) xx
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Thank you I do try. The system is cheap to make and free to use 🙂
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“I like frogs.” Totally using this the next time someone says something so utterly boring/braggy that my brain shuts down.
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You’ll know it’s me if I bring out my card and say snap!
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Effective and elegant solution; and, best of all, you’ll never need empathy!
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I would be brie lying if I said that wasn’t a cheesy story, but I liked it! 🙂
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I have to admit it took brielly long to get that pun!!!! I though – this guy can’t spell – oops!
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Behold the power of cheese.
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You literally can’t argue with cheese 🙂
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[…] Can you predict everything anyone will ever say to you? […]
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Then I found $5
Hacking jaw jackers for years with that one.
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AI technology has come a long way in the last few years. You could get one of those robots with artificial social intelligence like this one https://www.engineeredarts.co.uk/socibot/ to stand in for you and take care of all your small talk, leaving you free to safely remove all cheese from your hair or count tadpoles or whatever it is that you fancy doing 🙂
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[…] A lot of time was spent talking, I didn’t really like talking -( here’s my system for never doing it. ) […]
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Oh my, I think I should get those cards….
Often I just don’t talk and text people instead (whilst I’m having a conversation with them).
Re the truth, people usually appreciate it. Other than when I mistakenly told my coworker that she is intimidating, well at least they all know what I think of them.
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lol – texting while you’re talking to them is prize-worthy 🙂 Perhaps as bad as when my wife tries to start a conversation and I say “Send me an email” 🙂
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lol yeah, my sister laughs when I text/email her from the other side of the house instead of just walking a few steps to her.
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Seems more efficient to me!
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Rebel Fish, you rock
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Thank you 🙂 don’t be afraid to join in 🙂
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[…] In fact,if you’re not making money, why say anything at all? […]
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